Today was the end of my first year at uni and the end of a very hard week or in fact hard few weeks. It was alway going to be just that as I took my last exam for this year today but it was so much more. Three weeks ago we found out that mormor had cancer. On saturday she passed away. On monday I doubted if I was going to be able to take the exam today. Just didn't think I could do it. But I started revising and with the support of my crew I did it. And i think it went well. And I am proud of myself. I would also like to think that mormor would be / is proud too.
I think people's reaction to a friend in mourning differs between individuals. And I think a persons' need for response from close ones during grief varies between individuals. The people around me have responded just in the right way. Not by leaving me alone or by trying to stifle me. Just by saying: "I am here if you need me, anytime, just call". And no, there isn't really anything anybody could do. Nobody can bring my grandmother back. Nobody was going to do my revision for me. But just knowing that they were there. If I need them. When I need them. heroes. Very impressive.
And then after the exam (followed by obligatory post exam drinks) i scooted over to Bloomsbury for a date in the park with my future husband, who has been a rock... no a mountain... in the last few weeks. Later on the way to the tube, in the evening sun in beautiful London, I realised that I had been happy again today for the first time this week.
Impossible doesn't exist.
2 comments:
You'll have to change the colour of the text or the background here, i can't be read.
it can now
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