Branches of a tree

When saying farewell to mormor on thursday, there were a lot of tears and there were times, even during the ceremony, that I was in denial over the fact that I will never see her again. I also felt that it was unfair that we will have to go without.

But there, by the grave after the ceremony and memorial, a certain little girl whispered something to her lillamormor whilst playing with the gravel and admiring the flowers. This girl is wiser than most adults, it has to be said. "Good-bye, thanks for everything". And there it was; everything that needed to be said.

Hejda, tack for allt

Because we have so much to thank mormor for. Little things, like all the warm memories that we will always have in our hearts. All the skills that she has taught us and knowledge she has passed on. Little things like providing us with support and words of wisdom, sometimes without us realising we were being helped. Big things like putting us on this planet. Because I stem, partly, from her. Had she done one thing different we might not be here. The choices she made in her life has affected all of us. All of a sudden it doesn't seem so unfair, we have been given so much!

And it makes you think; how relatively small decisions we make in life, such as taking up a certain hobby, moving to another town or even just going out dancing on night and then talking to a stranger in the street on the way home, can influence the rest of one persons life. And generations to follow. Ultimately, we are just branches on a giant tree ....

Not so black

Black was for many years the only coloured clothes I had... No real reason why, I don't think. Now days I enjoy injecting a bit more colour in to my life, nothing crazy, just a bit of blue and green etc. and I like it. So imagine my surprise when I found out that for work this weekend (catering, my gig over summer) I have to wear black and there were limited outfits to pick from in my wardrobe...
Speaking of the colour black, how's about a change in colour for the blog?????

stuck in between- time

Having just arrived back from a couple of weeks in Sweden I'm a bit unsure what to do with myself. Although I had planned for this week to be a slow, relaxing, catch up with life kind of week, I can't help but getting restless and bored. I've been loitering around the house for a couple of days now and feel that I need to get out. But at the same time the thought of going outside to face the real world and get on with a daily routine seems so alien and unthinkable. The thought of seeing people makes me feel tired and want to crawl under the duvet until the urge to socialise goes away. So maybe I need to make a choice. Either make my peace with sitting at home watching DVDs or make myself get out there. Maybe there will be a visit to a museum tomorrow. But there is still that empty feeling to deal with...

mileage in may

I'm currently waiting for take off from london to copenhagen and to put harlands mind at ease I have been waiting at the airport for some time now... Enough time to calculate my air milage this month. Twice to copenhagen and back (by the time I return) and once to morocco and back to london..

8700 km roughly.

Could somebody tell me how far I would have made it if I had done that mileage in one flight?


Thanks.

proud and impressed

Today was the end of my first year at uni and the end of a very hard week or in fact hard few weeks. It was alway going to be just that as I took my last exam for this year today but it was so much more. Three weeks ago we found out that mormor had cancer. On saturday she passed away. On monday I doubted if I was going to be able to take the exam today. Just didn't think I could do it. But I started revising and with the support of my crew I did it. And i think it went well. And I am proud of myself. I would also like to think that mormor would be / is proud too.

I think people's reaction to a friend in mourning differs between individuals. And I think a persons' need for response from close ones during grief varies between individuals. The people around me have responded just in the right way. Not by leaving me alone or by trying to stifle me. Just by saying: "I am here if you need me, anytime, just call". And no, there isn't really anything anybody could do. Nobody can bring my grandmother back. Nobody was going to do my revision for me. But just knowing that they were there. If I need them. When I need them. heroes. Very impressive.

And then after the exam (followed by obligatory post exam drinks) i scooted over to Bloomsbury for a date in the park with my future husband, who has been a rock... no a mountain... in the last few weeks. Later on the way to the tube, in the evening sun in beautiful London, I realised that I had been happy again today for the first time this week.

Impossible doesn't exist.

as requested:)

picturesque morocco

.....but not as beautiful in real life

View from our balcony

The Village beach in Taghazout

The Zouk in Agadir

Taghazout by night

not really sure what's going on here...

Surfers view of Taghazout

Animal Kingdom, only thing missing is a picture of sugarmuffin , my stray puppy dog on the beach oh, and the kittens in the boat, brand spanking new, six of them. adorable flea infested little nippers.

We had a really nice time in morocco, lots of eating, sleeping, enjoying the sun and, yes, you guessed it: surfing. Although the waves were pretty minuscule we tried out best but it was long boards mainly... I enjoyed it and surfed for as long as I could, even on saturday. I would love to tell you all about it.... maybe another time....